Finders, Keeper

 

There is nothing better than love, of that I am sure, for some people finding a suitable mate is hard while for others, keeping the person until the journey to the aisle is the hard work. I believe in love, that is why I join the billions of people around the world to celebrate Valentine’s Day every year!

Let’s face it, relationship on any level is difficult including that between even siblings. Finding a soul mate and building a relationship begins from being attracted by a person’s looks, manner of speaking, walk, voice, etc. it grows into knowing and liking the person’s habits, goals and character as a whole. Although no human being is perfect, that means there may be aspects of a person that we wish, hope and pray that the person changes. If this is the case then we help to bring about those changes by correcting gently, waiting patiently and leaning wholly on God to effect the changes.

If the person resists changes and we know we cannot live with those imperfections, then it’s time to say “next!” I have managed in many situations in my life that I have decided not to manage my relationship/marriage also!

All of us would like to marry our best friend, someone who understands and supports us no matter the condition. Someone who will not leave us at the mercies of our in-law or feel inferior when we begin to achieve great things. Someone who will not be unreasonably jealous of our association with our friends or try to restrict our movement. Someone who will absorb our tears and replace them with smiles.

That special someone!

Are there still people like that on earth today? Of course they are. We are expected to find and keep our soul mate and be ready to be the ideal mate for them also. How?

To find your soulmate, you have to be available- chat on social media, place special ads in the print media, go to events, socialize with friends and colleagues. You never know when the sparks will start flying!

To keep your soulmate, make every effort to understand and show respect to the person, change bad or not so good habits. Keep the communication lines open, avoid double dating, it hurts like hell! Get to know the person’s goals and dreams and be supportive. Do not nag or become overbearing- always insisting that you are right. Take time out of your busy schedule to interact face to face. Saying “thank you” or “sorry” has never hurt anyone before. As much as you can afford, give gifts to the person- it may be as cheap as a poem you composed!

To be the ideal mate, you have to be sure that you have forever in your heart when you finally say “yes, I do” and that you have made up your mind to ensure that your soulmate is always happy and it will be just him or her. Nothing devastates couples or children as much as infidelity that leads to divorce.

I have made up my mind to be a finder, a keeper and an ideal- spouse, what about you?

SAYS WHO?

Where you are today is a function of what you said yesterday, and where you will be tomorrow is a function of what you are saying today. Never allow negative thoughts or confession take hold of your life and never allow negative words of other people to determine your future.

Destiny is determined by character, character is determined by habits, habits is determined by words, words are determined by thoughts therefore our thoughts and words ultimately determine our destiny, not knowing this, some people are careless about what they say to themselves and other people’s words that they believe without examining them properly if they are empowering or not.

Years ago, I struggled to pass G.C.E, someone very close to me summed it up and called me a failure. For months, I felt paralyzed, I almost did not register for the examination again that year until I told myself that if I give up, it means the person has won the battle.

I have become a person who seeks to excel in examinations and in life because of that experience. I finally passed G.C.E, gained admission into tertiary institution, graduated with a good grade, did my youth service, worked in a prestigious bank, became a Managing Director of my own Company and hear this- there is more ahead!

I am a success today because I did not allow someone’s thoughtlessness remark to become my slogan, I broke free and I am soaring high. Success came because my own positive confessing cancelled out that negative pronouncement.

It is important that we should be careful who we give permission to speak over our lives, if someone insists on speaking negative about us or to us, we should cancel out the words in our minds and replace them with positive confessions because what the mind stores is what it will manifest.

We know people who, because they are idle or have no future, persist in backbiting, gossiping, and discouraging those who have somewhere to go.  They want to take their frustrations out on innocent people. Is it our fault that they are frustrated?

Never believe what “the little chickens”, “professional critics” or “doomsayers” tell you. Counter their pronouncements with the word of God that is sharper than two-edged sword. Build your destiny through positive confessions. Don’t get tired of telling yourself that the Greater One lives in you and therefore you are not ordinary!

FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE

 

My life has been enriched by the friends I have. I may not have so many friends but the ones I have are trusted, unique and inspiring. Right from when I was in secondary school, I have always had friends- both male and female- who push me to excel not only by what they say but also by how they live their lives.

Today, I have friends who are making their marks in different fields of endeavor and that makes me want to excel too, at least to show that their advice and support have not been in vain, I am so proud of my friends, I wish I could show them to you!

My friends are my role models and my confidants. Other people may see me as shy and reserved but when I am with my friends, I can open up knowing that they will understand advice and keep confidential matters to themselves. I may not see them always, because we have all gotten busy, but knowing that they care about me and want me to succeed gives me this warm feeling that keeps me going when things are tough.

My friends help me to stay away from bad behavior, I don’t want to say or do what I will be ashamed to tell them about, everyday, I ask God for grace not to offend others or allow others to make me angry.

Funny enough, there are many people who consider themselves as my friends because we chat, call each other and get talking. I know my friends an my friends knows me!

Happiness Is an Inside Job

Depending on happenings around us to bring us happiness is not realistic because circumstances may not always be favourable to us. We cannot live our lives by allowing our emotions go on a roller coaster ride when driven by prevailing conditions.

Happiness is an inside job. The extent of your happiness should depend not on the goals you have achieved or the gifts you have received but on the knowledge that no matter what happens, you have the confidence in God, that He that started a good thing in your life will complete it irrespective of the delays and rejections you experience along the way.

Eyes have not seen, ears have not heard what God has purposed to do in your life, His thoughts towards you are thoughts of good and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope, this belief should cause the spring of happiness to well up inside of you.

Granted that the present may not look so rosy: you may be struggling with your academics, you may want to get married but there is no suitable and ready partner, you may have to take a low level job in order to escape unemployment, you may want to start your own business but there is no capital, you may need money for your wedding ceremony, you may be married without children, you may not like your present place of employment, your job functions or your boss, you may be in business but still struggling to make ends meet, having any of these problems can  be frustrating, I know from experience.

The good news is that you can allow your inner happiness to serve as strength to face these challenges and conquer them with God’s help. Someday, someone will ask you how come you are happy in spite of the fact that you have not accomplish all your goals and you will be able to answer that your own happiness is not fueled by accomplishments but by the acceptance of God.

Anyone who accepts God’s grace, rests secured in the knowledge that his or her effort is enough for God to turn into miracles. That person cannot but be happy no matter what happens.

Make conscious effort to be happy always. See and enjoy the abundance on earth-it all belongs to you. Laugh, smile, and rejoice even when you do not feel like it. For even in your low seasons, doors of opportunity   are still opening. It is just that you may be so focused on the closed door that you do not see the other one open for you.

Smile through the tears and frustration knowing that the future that you see is the future you will live in.

Others may not understand it but you do!
Stay blessed til i come your way again.
Ruth Sylvester

Entrepreneurship 101: Becoming your own Boss

“If only I have a good business idea”, “If only I have enough capital”, “If only my family and friends will support me”, “If only I have a Business Management experience”, “If only I can foretell if my business will be successful or not”, “If only I lived in a more business friendly environment”- “I would start a business”!.

The above statements are excuses we give ourselves for not starting and growing our own business and they are very genuine as far as we are concern. We fail to realize that big corporations today were started by people who did not fulfill all the criteria listed above and today, the corporations are still standing.

At a point, we are challenged by the world around and compelled to make a mark on it by the force of our own ideas, personality, resources and desires, that’s when we realize that starting our own business is a goal that can be achieved.

People like me who desire the freedom to create, prosper and do what they like with their time, know that only being in business for themselves will satisfy those desires and so must take steps to make their dreams come true.

The steps to take include finding out what you are passionate about- what would you create and sell that you can even do for free because you enjoy doing it. Next step is to source for capital- this is a bit difficult and so requires careful planning and hard work.

Your first business should not be one that requires so much capital. I know a woman who started a business selling “moin-moin” with N1000. Today, she owns a catering outfit. So simplify your business idea so that the capital required will not scare you, after you start the business, you can gradually grow it into your dream business.

Next step is location and materials required. Your business should have a suitable location- a place that can be accessed by potential customers or clients. Also purchase the furniture and materials needed for production and sales.

Once you have started your business, make sure you advertise in every media possible. Tell family and friends every chance you get. Make sure that your product/services are of high quality that alone can help you get referrals that will build your business.

Don’t spend all the money gotten from sale. Use some to re-stock and expand your business- you can add other products/services as time goes on.

Do everything within your power to avoid shady deals or cutting corners. If you have staffs, pay them well and treat them like human beings. Pay rents and rates as at when due. Lastly, remember the Lord your God, for it is He who has given you the power to get wealth, so give to God of your time and resources. God bless you!